Dating again,
the honest version.

Divorced, mid-thirties, back on the apps — and building the stuff I wished existed. No coaches, no alpha, no fake odds. Half therapy for me, half useful for you, hopefully.

Finding Love Is As Easy As Finding the Cleanest Toilet in the Mall

The Secretary Problem of Dating: When to Stop Swiping

How do you know when to stop swiping and commit? There's actual maths for it — the secretary problem, explained with a mall toilet.

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Tinder Was the Best Self-Help Book I Ever Read

10 months on Tinder. Still single. Best year of my life so far.

I signed up for Tinder 10 months ago. I more or less knew what I wanted. Nothing crazy. Just a simple girl. Fit. 28–35. Active. Ambitious, into self-growth. Shorter than me (the heels thing is real). Lives nearby. Smart, but not exhausting (I don't need a debate club in my kitchen, I just like a good conversation). Reads a book or two. Curious. Fine that I've got a kid. Attractive. And please, no esoterica.

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Tinder Dates as Interviews, Math, and Black Swans

The framework worked perfectly. Until it didn't.

I used math to find love in Riga. Calculated the odds. Built a hiring framework. Treated first dates like screening interviews. Used the secretary problem to figure out exactly how many dates I needed before committing. The framework worked perfectly. Until it didn't.

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More on the way